why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize
