let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
