Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
