Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Randomize
