I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
