I heard we made out
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
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