is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
It's rum buckets o'clock
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
