My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize
