; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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