She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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