Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
