I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
We talked him into tasing himself.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
