It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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