Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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