Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
