If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
