In the future we'll all be gay
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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