i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
You may now shotgun with the bride
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
