it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
