Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
