Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
All I want is dick and wine.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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