70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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