she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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