I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
