Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
