just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
