dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
it's like iHOP with fire
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
