i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
