I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
