As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
