So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize