Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Nicole vs. Life
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
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