So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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