Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
