I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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