last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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