apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
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