On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
