I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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