what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
