My hand turned me down
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
