i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
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