fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
