For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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