So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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