thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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