If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
