i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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