super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
