Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
