everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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