my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
