I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
