youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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