his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
