i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
