She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
