wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
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