There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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