okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
