So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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