oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
