that's an acceptable place to lick
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
