We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
