if i can run in heels then i can drive
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
im about as happy as oj after his trial
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Randomize
