How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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