My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
