I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
