While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
