I wannas sexs uuuuu
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
