I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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