i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
