It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize