what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
he fucked my hip out of place.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
