you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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