how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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