this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
