ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
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