We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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