hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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