We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
