dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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