The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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