Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
