Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
where am i from again
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
